She left him. She moved far away. She had superb family support. She had a restraining order. She had him arrested multiple times. And now she is dead. He killed her. He came to where she had moved, broke into her home, waited for her to return. And killed her.

The next time you or someone you know, trivializes domestic violence, think about the dead women – who did everything right – and they are dead.

This could be your sister, your daughter, your best friend.

She left – and she was still not safe.
She got a restraining order – and she was still not safe.
She reached out for support – and she was still not safe.

Domestic violence is not about what the battered woman did right or wrong.

Domestic violence is about what the abuser does. The choices the abuser makes. Only the abuser can stop the abuse.

Let’s support the victims of domestic violence. But have no illusion that she is never safe as long as the abuser is free to continue the choice to a use her.