I deal with issues about domestic violence every day in my work. I provide therapy to victims and their families and I regularly testify in court as a domestic violence expert. It would be easy for that to make my life and work unhappy or negative. Nope. That just isn’t me.
There are good things. Every day, women leave abusive relationships and find safety. Most women go on to have happy lives, with loving partners. Contrary to popular opinion, most women that leave abusive relationships, never get into another one. I see the cases where that isn’t true, but it’s good to remind ourselves that most women do get out. And stay out.
I deal with the cases that don’t go well; the women who don’t or can’t get out; the kids who are trapped with being in the custody of an abusive parent. But I deal with the most extreme cases. There are thousands of them, but thousands more that go well.
We are making headway, even when it doesn’t always seem like it. We need to give credit to all those survivors and all the advocates who have helped to change lives. But let’s not break our arms patting ourselves on the back. There is still a huge amount of work to do. The family courts are broken when it comes to dealing with domestic violence. Women and kids are dying every day.
Let’s celebrate the good work, but use that as a springboard to keep us going for the difficult work we still face every day. This isn’t easy work, but no one ever said it would be. Join in the effort to recognize and stop domestic violence.